Private Caller

It made me nervous when the words “private caller” show up across my call display screen. I pay good money to see who is calling me and I hate it when this happens. I clear my throat.
“Hello?”
“Who is this?”
It is woman’s voice on the other end and the question caught me off guard.
“Who is this? Who are you looking talk to?” I ask in my best ‘trying hard not to be rude voice’ despite being instantaneously defensive.
“I want to talk to Alana, I want to know why her number is on a piece of paper in my boyfriends wallet?”
Oh, this is going to be good. But this girl seems to be holding back a massive bitch sesh so I pried a little more.
“I’m Alana. Who is your boyfriend? What’s his name?”
Maybe I had given him my number, but I never do that so maybe I knew him from work or it was the group-project number exchange process that happens in a class.
“His name is Josh. Why would he have your number?
He voice is sharp getting pushy. My brow furrows and press the phone harder to my ear.
“I don’t know really. I don’t know a Josh.” I want to hang up.
“He works at the car dealership downtown”
She was getting desperate and I was feeling creative.
“Like I said, I don’t know a Josh.” I'm shurgging even though this girl can't see me.
I spoke very slowly and with a condescending tone. Does this girl think I gave my number to her boyfriend at a bar? She must already think that we’re sleeping together and have more than once. She has probably cried about it already as she felt the world around her fall to pieces when she found my name and number on a piece of paper in his wallet. She may have had a internal battle of trust verses instinct that eventually made her call these adulterous didgits.
“Okay well, I found your number in his wallet, and something like this happened before and I just want to know why it’s here.” Her voice started to lose its potency and it was quickly shifting to choked up with side of tears.
Then it dawned on me. I was looking for a sub-let for my apartment. I had given my number to a friend to pass it on to someone that may have been interested. What a disaster this has turned into. But this girl had guts. I don’t think I would have called to confront the mistress over the phone. I answered quickly.
“Ohhhhhh! I am looking for someone to sub-let my apartment and one of my friends gave it to one of her friends because, I guess, he is looking for a place for the summer?”
I hoped that I didn’t foil his master ‘break-up’ plan where my apartment was his way out of a relationship with this girl.
“Oh. Okay you swear that that’s the reason?”
Gutsy but dumb. My god, I gave her too much credit. I’m sure I could have sexed this guy two ways from Sunday and only had to “pinky swear” to her that nothing had happened and she would have gone on her marry way.
“Um, yeah. I swear.”
I wasn’t having fun anymore; this conversation lost its lustre. Her sigh of relief was piercing.
“Wow. Okay. Sorry about this. It’s just I was worried that he was doing something very similar to the last time I found a girls number in his wallet. I was really worried.”
Okay, that sealed it for me. She is an idiot. For a split second I think of telling her to leave this chump because he is a lying son-of-a-bitch. I want to scream at her through the phone ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER and that she should never have taken him back after the first place. And the next time she finds a number in his wallet won’t be because of a legit reason, it will be because he is cheating on her...again. I get the impression she was going to discuss this interaction with him later that day. I would then become another excuse for him to use the next time he leaves to sex up someone else. I can see the conversation unfold:
“Oh honey, don’t worry! That’s the number of a perspective sub-let. You worry too much.”
He is going to play her for the fool over and over. And she is too weak to let him go. But I was about to let her go.
“Okay, well, innocent mix up. Good luck with everything.” And I hang up. These kinds of girls really really grind my gears. More than not being able to tell when they're calling.